A piece of my garden in spring

I'm on a roll here with posting today, as I'm thrilled I've figured out how to get photos as well as originals with sizes shrunken before posting.
I've been working on the space in front of my house for the past 5 years off and on, in the spring and summer, converting it from lawn to flowers, herbs and sometimes tomatoes - I need to move the strawberries as they don't like the slope or perhaps being too near a large blue spruce.

Sliced open

Created September of 2003. It could be a representation of deep psychic conflict or the culturally created male/female split or a black/white split. Anyway, it's a split.

Kaleidescope

Or it could be a ferris wheel, a Wizard of Oz type spaceship, etc. Much depends on which way you turn it.
I worked with the colors in HP Photosmart Edit, since just today I figured out how to relocate a photographed image into that program so as to shrink the size and also discovered I could do other things with the image.

Jennifer on her way home back to the cosmos

Another drawing reflecting on Jennifer's passing.

Water Series - C07

The eyes have returned in my drawings, along with a rich yellow yolk. Done with chalk pastels.

Water Series - B07

I think this speaks for itself except I'm not sure I know what it's saying. Possibly this drawing could reflect concern about/ interest in my mentor's activities in deep-sea diving off a South East Asian island with coral reefs. Aru, I think, is the name of the island.

Water Series -A07

This is also a 3-image series, dedicated to water. Only now do I notice the similarity in shape of this drawing to the one dedicated to Jennifer Ayala. Composed in December of 2007, returning to chalk pastels.

To Dr. Jennifer Ayala (Hitchcock)

I started this drawing in August 2007 while at a conference session on Nonviolent Communication (R) and worked on it off and on until December 2007. It's done with colored pencils. In September, I believe, we heard that Jennifer Ayala (Hitchcock) who had received her Ph.D. in April 2007 from the PIC program at Binghamton University, had died. She used a wheelchair and was an advocate for people with disabilities. She was in her early 30's. She had a monkey as a helper, a Capuchin I believe. Again, I drew this, mostly disconnected from cognition, being mostly in a state of disoriented affect, although I am conscious of deliberately added elements alluding to wheels. The face at the lower left seems indicative of a monkey's face but it was not intentional. Also, Jennifer had long blond hair, the representation of which in the drawing was also not intentional. That's the beauty of almost direct communication with the unconscious.

Bird Series - C07

I restrained myself until uploading the third and final image in the drawings in the Bird Series 07. It's taken me several months to be able to focus and figure and play around with finding out how to resize, when here it was under my nose all the time, in the scanner program.
With all three drawings, I used my "disability" to advantage, in that I tend to crouch down on the floor when I'm having what I call "disorientation" probably brought on by some slight brain damage from radiation. It enables me to "space" out and lose focus, thereby allowing my psyche to transmit information directly to my fingers without my cognition getting in the way. Even if I have not finished the drawing, usually simply the act of connecting with some inner/outer world this way facilitates my return to this plane of existence.

Bird Series - B07

This is the second in the oil pastel Bird Series of '07. Perhaps some cobalt element is incubating inside of the bird? I was given a small (1 1/2 inch across) ceramic talisman from Turkey that looks much like this cobalt disc.

Bird Series - A07

This is the first in a series of oil pastel drawings that ended up looking like various kinds of birds.

Hiding in the forest.

The title for this picture came to mind only when I noticed the two legs on the right lower side of the drawing. When I finished it, I thought I saw some kind of insect, especially on the left where antennae seem to have appeared. The body is disproportionately huge with perhaps egg cases inside, and perhaps a spine in the center. Perhaps it’s really hiding behind mother bug. This is yet another drawing that comes from the unconscious since I don’t plan ahead. I just start making shapes and fill in, allowing my fingers to choose the colors and what to do. The entire process usually bypasses conscious awareness, going straight from the unconscious to my fingers and then onto the paper.

Thinking

This is a drawing from about 4 years ago. It's relevant even today. The title I just gave it is "Thinking." I'd have to check my journal to try to remember what was going on when I drew this (chalk pastel on flip-chart paper, then sprayed with fixative), but it represents what I feel when I'm in deep thought or in deep disorientation or both. Wheels swirling around and straining at clarity. But all the while maintaining some joy, comfort, peace? in colours and designs.
And then again, it could be a kaleidescope or even a ferris wheel - take your pick.

Silenced wisdom

As usual, I'm not sure what this represents. It's another oil pastel on paper. The week so far has been full, again as usual. I got no sleep this past Monday night, what with driving 30 minutes away to get on a bus at 2:00 a.m. that left its destination at 11:00 p.m. the night before. We got into Washington, D.C. around 9:00 a.m. for the national day to rally and lobby for the restoration of habeas corpus. The bus I went on was sponsored by the ACLU. Very well organized by the regional director. For the remainder of this week, I've been very busy with a variety of tasks. This drawing might be the result of all that squirreling around.

Attention - deficit

I did this drawing some time in year 2005, amongst a large group of drawings that came out probably from what was going on internally while I was taking various homeopathic remedies, sequentially. The homeopath was driving himself to find the right remedy to at least give me some relief, while hoping that he would find the remedy that would be close as possible to the sweet spot of core healing.
The drawing could represent that need for and the getting of the shared attention that a newborn human is programmed to require. That's how bonding with care-givers occurs. With deficient or absent attention, the required level of various hormones, especially oxytocin, and pyshological and psychic phenomena do not develop, impairing the ability of the resulting adult to develop healthy relationships, and imparing functioning in many other ways.
It's possible that red triangular shape with the lines across could represent a womb or a vagina - some kind of birthing may be going on. Notice that the heads appear to be speaking, while the head on the far right is wthin something looking like the ear's semi-circular canals. As for the eye, it seems connected to some kind of pupa sack, with a couple of eggs nearby.
When I'm drawing, I don't think. It works best that way, for many people engaged in some kind or creative production, I would guess. This drawing appears early in my Ph.D. dissertation.

Finding the one sure spot deep enough to bear the weight

This photograph shows a bank building on a spot that's deep enough to bear the weight of a building that height. It gives a physical representation of how it feels to have a secure footing psychologically and psychically even when all around seems like shifting sand. Finding that sweet spot of security, resilience and persistence can be really difficult and scary when you're lacking that early infant shared attention necessary for healthy human development. While difficult, it's not impossible to find a zone of a feeling of security, contrary to the dogma of thinking in evolutionary psychology. (And here you thought it was a phallic symbol - tsk! tsk! - my goal is to reframe and re-interpret metaphors and symbols so as to overturn the oppression of patriarchy).

Eye and I streaming

Created over 2-3 days around 5/8/07. This is yet another drawing with an eye as the focus. I don't think about balancing while I'm drawing, but somehow the picture ends up with blues and greens at the top and bottom and yellows, orange, and reds at left and right. Why the eye is looking towards the left I have no conscious idea. I'm not sure if the feeling of the picture is peaceful or tumultuous. Perhaps it's both, like life. Again in oil pastels and felt pen, on bristol paper.

Fire/dragon fly traffic light at night

Created 5/22/07. I felt in a dreamlike waking state, a bit restless so to settle down, I decided to draw. This is the result. I did have the idea of some kind of street light, but no other ideas while drawing. It seems like the heads could be of people lost in a fog, searching for some kind of direction. Sounds familiar. Notice the sequence of the lights. What does it mean? Afterwards I thought the sequence reminded me of the ridiculous and manipulative terror alerts a while back Funny how they don't do them so much anymore, unless it's because I'm not paying attention to the media outlets where they do remain.

Oranges

To be honest, this picture looks better scanned than in the real life version.
I'm not really satisfied with the texture of the oil pastel markings, but I do like the colors. I stayed focused on reds, oranges and yellows, which is unusual for me, since I tend to like to swim around in blues, purples and greens. I'm still trying to figure out what's being represented here.

Flower mouth at sea

I'm getting to really like working/playing with images and this blog. This kind of practice is what I've been wanting to do for a really long time - combination of images and text not involving too much reading.

The background for this drawing was inspired by an artist-photographer who installed an upside-down photo of an ocean scene. It made a deep impression on me.